I’ve got this boyfriend. He is a big handsome feller and I really like him. It was one of those romantic stories where I saw him across the way and decided that he must be mine. I admit that I am a bit superficial in that way, he was sexy and that was all that mattered. I was told by people who knew him best that he was a super nice guy, so I set my mind up to make him mine.
It took a couple months but I was able to carry out my plan and make him my boyfriend. It is probably not best to just jump into a relationship with a guy you don’t really know, but I am a risk taker and decided that we could just get to know each other through the process of forming a relationship.
It was a rather rocky start and I realized that while he had a quirky sense of humor, he had a real pissy side as well. He was prone to childlike outbursts and at times I feared that our relationship was not very healthy and would probably be best if he moved on to another girl more suited for his emotional instability.
We sought professional help for our relationship and things started to look up for my boyfriend and I. We started to enjoy each other’s company, and find common ground. Through this process I began to realize that this boyfriend of mine was really a great friend. A friend with whom I could do fun things, and enjoy our time together…maybe share a laugh or two. I realized that I was growing to love this boyfriend of mine, but not in a soul mate, buy-a-house-and-have-babies kind of way…more of a, let’s grab a drink and laugh about old times when you wanted to kill me but chose not to kind of friend. I was content with the friendship we had formed even though our therapist felt as though the relationship we had was not going to be one that would be mutually beneficial to either of us long term. We just had different goals, dreams and abilities. Not one to back away from a challenge, I decided that I would change my goals a bit to ensure that he was still relatively happy in our relationship. Changing my goals involved a big step outside my box, but I love this boyfriend of mine so I decided that I could be happy if he was happy.
Then one day I was perusing Facebook and happened across a guy who was the total package. He loves all the things I love, and under the right circumstances he can even support himself (something that my current boyfriend seems unable to do…I don’t hold it against him though). Yes, I am a bit shallow, and I will admit that it was his looks that grabbed me right off the bat! He is one good looking fella!
Learning my lesson from the last time that I fell for someone based on looks alone, I decided to try and get to know this guy a little more before I let my heart override my brain. I have been able to get to know him a little through talks with people who know him best. I have seen videos of him in action and I must say, I like his heart and his mind.
Here is my dilemma…do I ditch my current boyfriend in favor of this internet love affair? Do I throw away all of the hard work and time that I have put into cultivating this great friendship with my current beau? If I am honest with myself, I know that I do not have time for two boyfriends and especially one who is unable to earn his own keep. My therapist is confident that she can help me to build a great foundation with Mr. Internet from the start so I don’t have to go through the trials and tribulations that I went through with Mr. Freeloader.
But, the age old questions remain. What if I ditch my current love for a new one and he and I don’t click in the way my old love and I have learned to click? What if I find my current love a new love and she isn’t good to him? What if I am not good enough for the new guy and he hates me once he gets to know me?
In a perfect world, I should just be able to keep my current boyfriend until I know if the new boyfriend is soul mate material. My current boyfriend would probably be happy to be put on the back burner for a bit while I figure out where my affections lie. I know people who are able to maintain multiple relationships smoothly, but I am not sure that I have the energy to properly maintain two love affairs. Especially where the new guy does all the stuff the current guy does and he loves the stuff that my current guy hates.
For some people, this is a no brainer…take the leap and ditch the old guy in favor of the new guy (after all, he is younger and in better shape physically, plus he has a good job which is a plus).
I am just so torn! Tell me what you would do. Here are pictures of my old boyfriend and my potential new boyfriend! Should I ditch one in favor of the other or see if I can manage to keep two boyfriends happy??
My Current Boyfriend: